5 down and 12 to go!! Eeeek, I don’t even want to think about the end! Lol! Before we jump into this weeks matchups, last week we had some fun with a few facts, let’s see what we can dig up for the number 5, this week! (At this point Steve is like the adult version of The Count)

Fact #1 – There were 5 matchups! Lol, that one was too easy. Give me a better one!!

Fact #2 – Out of the 5 matchups, 5 teams had the number 5 in their final score! Now that’s a a triple 5 fact right there! Boom! Lol

Fact #3 – Out of the 5 matchups, if you were to add both final scores together, only 1 matchup, Brad and Jakes, have a single 5 in it!

Fact #4 – Sam now sits at number 5 overall!

Fact #5 – Jake is the only team to be 0-5!!

Fact #6 – Look closely, but if you look at everyone’s name, not their team name, but their user name…the two Soy brothers have the number 5 within their names!!

Fact #7 – Everyone’s name is spelled with only 5 letters! Hear me out…Jacob, Steve, Gregg, Bradd, Robrt, Joshi, Sammy, Jesus, Drewl and Conor! 

Fact #8 – Another easy one, but, there happen to be 5 winners this week, so that counts!!!

Fact #9 – Last, but not least…if you hold up your right hand, look at your fingers, and count…how many do you see? Now quick, flip your hand over! How many do you have now? Mind blown!!!

Alright gang! Now that we have a good laugh out of the way, let’s dig into the matchups, shall we?!?!

First, let’s start off with a prayer to our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ! 

Our Father, which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy Name. Thy Kingdom come. Thy will be done on earth, As it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread. And forgive us our trespasses, As we forgive them that trespass against us. And lead us not into temptation, But deliver us from evil. For thine is the kingdom, The power, and the glory, For ever and ever. Amen. 

Yes sir, we might all want to pray when it comes to facing Kyle and his strong team! This week, not only did we witness him get Top Dog, but we witnessed a miracle, as he beat the all time record of 210.40, which was held by Drew, by putting up a whopping 217.26 points! And with that, we all said the Lords name in vain…Jesus Christ!! And we should probably all go back and pray again for forgiveness. Lol, for real though, congrats dude! Such a crazy score indeed!

Well, why not stick with this matchup! Sam, the not so cheating brother this week, didn’t have enough tricks up his sleeves to pull out what Jesus had in stored for him! And apparently Sam didn’t pray hard enough for Jesus to have mercy on him, as he lost by over 100 points!! As a matter of fact, this was Sam’s worst scoring week at only 113.56. And if I were to tell you that this team has Lamar Jackson, Jonathan Taylor, Tee Higgins and Amonra St. Brown…you wouldn’t believe me that this team only put up what it did. Even worse, if I told you that this team has Lamar Jackson, Jonathan Taylor, Tee Higgins and Amon St. Brown…and they put up a combined 22.56, you’d laugh at me. But, this is exactly what happened. Granted, JT was out, still a crazy outcome no matter how you cut it. As for Jesus…well, all I can say is, we are down bad m our knees, praising you every day! Lol. Seriously though, I’ll keep it short, simple and to the point…Josh Allen 43.16 points, Austin Ekeler 37.90 points, Josh Jacobs 32.30 points and Devante Adams 29.40 points. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again…YOU. ARE. SUPERMAN!!!

Kyle’s highest and lowest scoring starter – Josh Allen – 43.16

Brandin Cooks – 6

Sam’s highest and lowest scoring starter – Cooper Kupp – 27.90

Tee Higgins – 0

Let’s move on before Jesus gets too big of a head. 

Next up…

Another “squash them like a bug” matchup! Brad, the Godfather of Top Golf, decided that he wasn’t going to take it easy on the winless Jake! No sir, this one was brutal, as Brad beat the living day lights out of a man that was already in pain. This makes Jakes, third consecutive week where he hasn’t been able to get his team to hit 100 points. Whereas Brad, put up 100.50 points between Mahomes, Jefferson and Hall alone! For Jake, there were some bright spots in Diggs and Mostert, both putting up over 20 points each, but the rest of the gang just couldn’t put it together. Not to mention, he lost yet another player to injuries with Harris going down early. Jake, I don’t know what to say man, except…I seriously think it’s all because, once again, you haven’t changed your name or your pic! Get with the times son!! Seriously though, Jake has had the worst luck with QBs this year… Week 1 – Trey Lance – 9.96 points. Week 2 – Trey Lance – 2.50 points and loses Lance to season ending injury. Week 3 – Justin Fields – 4.94 points. Week 4 – Marcus Mariota – 3.86 and Week 5 – Trevor Lawrence – 10.34. Hate to say it, but those big 0s I see in wins for you, remind me of one thing….waffles!! Should we go ahead and start putting in an order? Lol. Change the name and pic pal, and I assure you, things will get better! 

Brad’s highest and lowest scoring starter – Patrick Mahomes – 38.48

TJ Hockenson – 1.60

Jake’s highest and lowest scoring starter – Stefon Diggs – 26.20

Chargers D – negative 2

Next up…

The matchup of the week! The Baby Don vs The Paff Daddy!! The 4-0 Connor, was looking for his 5th in a row, and man was it a fight to the finish! And no other match was actually as close as Connor and Steve’s! But, at the end of the day, it was Paff who came on top and gave Ol’ Baby Don his first loss of the year! Like every matchup, there were positives and negatives on both sides…for Paff, Chubb and Fournette showed up big time with over 27 points each, and what really helped seal the deal was when he decided to change up his defense the day before, to see them put up 24 alone! For Connor…Kamara, Mike Williams and Travis Kelce, all out up 25 plus points! And the fun one out of it all, both our kickers scored exactly 16 a piece! Haha! Was definitely a good match my man! And you definitely gave me a run for my money! 

Paff’s highest and lowest scoring starter – Leonard Fournette – 35.90

James Robinson – 5.90

Connor’s highest and lowest scoring starter – Travis Kelce – 33.50

Jaylen Waddle – 5.30

Next up…

Copy that…the eagle has landed…I repeat…the eagle has landed!! 

Yes sir, Josh and his Eagles keep flying high!  And this week, he showed no mercy to Gregg and his double g’s!! He put a hurting on him with a 179.66 to 116.54 win. Greg, joins Robert at 1-4 and with that, the number 2 and number 3 draft pick of the year, just can’t seem to get their teams to do what they were drafted to do! Don’t look now, but the two guys who are 1-4, happen to match their NFL team, The Panthers, at 1-4! Hmmm. And, the Panthers just fired Rhule….could that mean….? Nahhhh, not in this league. Let’s carry on:

For Greg…

The Good…

His number 1 pick in the draft did do his job, as Derrick Henry put up 29.20 points!

The Bad…

Three of his main WRs only put up very low double digits…Tyreek Hill – 13, Godwin – 12.30 and Pittman – 10.90. 

For Josh…

The Good…

Hurts, Davin Cook and Gabe Davis all put up 26 plus points! 

The Bad…

Really was none for this guy, as you can’t complain that your bottom scoring players was your defense at 6 and your kicker at 9!! Lol

With that, Josh moves up to 2-3 and has put himself in the 6th overall place right now! Better luck next time Gregory! 

Last, but not least! 

The lowest scoring matchup by far! The Whiffer and the Sniffer!! This one was an interesting one folks, as the score was 107.50(Drew) to 97.24(Robert) heading into Monday nights game. Drew was done and Robert had Waller to go! All Robert needed was 10.27 points to beat Drew! Before the game started, Drew text me, and I quote, “I really need Waller to have a bad night. He needs to have 0 Rec for 0 yards he just needs to block all night!” And with that…Waller did get 0 receptions and 0 yards, and he did block all night. He blocked the mosquitoes from landing on his forehead, as he went out of the game early with a hamstring injury. Talk about getting exactly what you asked for! You’re a lucky dog Drew! Lol. Way to use the force! Or did you say a little prayer to Jesus, as you seem to be the only one he’s had mercy towards so far this year!! 

For Robert…

The Good…

CMC has made it 5 straight weeks so far and has been performing well for you! 

The Bad…

If CMC isn’t getting hurt, who is? Injuries have been the issue for Robert…here’s the list…Dak, Bateman, Penny and Waller! That’s a lot of talent and pints that have been missed by Robert! Chin up buddy, better days are ahead! At least you’re not 0-5, like someone else I know! Lol

For Drew…

The Good…

Dameon Pierce and Amari Copper both got 20 a piece!

The Bad…

No one else in your starting lineup contributed! But, just as it is every week in this game we play, it is truly a of luck, and that my friend, you had on your side this week. Lol

Drew’s highest and lowest scoring starter – Amari Cooper – 20.60

Chris Boswell – 1

Robert’s highest and lowest scoring starter – Kirk Cousins – 24.24

Darren Waller – 0

Alright gang! That’s it for me! Yet another good week in the books! Next weeks matchups are going to be a lot of fun as well…now that Baby Don has suffered his first lose, I’d say Jesus has a target on him now that he’s win 4 in a row himself!

Week 6 matchups…

• Jesus/Kyle(1) vs Gregg/Greg(8)

• PuttPutt Man/Brad(2) vs The Big Eagle/Josh(6)

• Paff Daddy/Steve(3) vs Cheating Brother 1/Robert(9)

• Baby Don/Connor(4) vs Inspector Earl/Jake(10)

• Cheating Brother 2/Sam(5) vs The BBQ Whiffer/Drew(7)

Good luck fellas!!